From the department of DUH

On my morning rounds I happened to catch this:
CBS rules YouTube

Note: the following paragraph reads much better when using the "sarcastic jackass" voice from your favorite 'Family Guy' character

See, those geniuses at CBS discovered that, lo and behold, allowing the kids to promote your crappy TV shows might actually (dramatic pause) increase your ratings. What a concept? My god, this opens up all kinds of possibilities: movie promos (let's call them 'trailers' I don't know why), tv advertisements (hm, how about 'teasers'), or even some form of print ads that my mind can't even picture right now... And the beauty of all this promotion? We'll PAY to do it. Why not? I mean, we wouldn't want the kids to be doing our work for free, would we?

OK, enough sarcasm. This crap blows my mind. I see newspaper ad revenues are down again. I see basic cable ratings have the same old junk: football and Spongebob. And the beat goes on with the MPAA/RIAA side of the Zuniverse: you get to do what we tell you to do with our incredibly lame products you must consume...

This internet thing is just getting started, so I can't wait to see how a number of things play out over the next few years. We still have to fight the broadcast flag, some less savory pieces of the DMCA, and so on. I'm terribly optimistic that more companies will truly begin to understand and leverage the power of the web both for profits and for a better world. CBS is beginning to "get it" as evidenced by their viewership growing, and MySpace was a huge wake-up to Fox.

Nevertheless, there are still problems. CBS is successful because there is name recognition, playing to the strength of search criteria. These search engines are run by machines. As the complexity of the web increases every minute, we are approaching the crisis of too much choice. YouTube and ebay provide examples...

On YouTube, if you search for "mentos rocket" you'll find a number of duds. Either the video sucks, the attempt is lame, or they're just making fun of the phenom. Good luck finding the original video, and even with rankings it can be tough to separate the wheat from the chaff (just look through the how-to's).

With ebay, I dare you to sell an iPod case. I've tried nearly half a dozen times to sell our Llamapod cases on there, and never even got one bid. There are thousands! Too much choice. Imagine the poor couch potato out there trying to find things on the interweb. Computers are not his friend. People are, however...

Anyway, the Dept. of Duh will remain closed until the new year. Unless Sony decides to do something smart. That would be news. Good news.

In the meanwhile, keep your eye on the drowning mainstream media. Watch them as they furrow their collective brows in a vain attempt to understand the situation...

The Revolution is Being Televised

I've been watching the TV ads for the Wii, and news coverage of the launch. Looks like Nintendo has a big hit on their hands. Adults of all stripes, and kids of all flavors are totally digging the cute little box. While we're not getting one just yet (our spankin' new porch was our present to ourselves), we will when Mario Party 8 comes out.

I'm also wondering if DS games will be able to link up? How far will the networking features really go? When is a proper lightsaber game coming out?

Oh, I guess one sign of success is I'm seeing a lot more Wii game ads than PS3 game ads. Seems like for the past year or so they just quit making Gamecube games. Go Nintendo go!

UMG: the Village Idiot of the Digital World

First they claimed my iPod was full of stolen music. Now they're suing Myspace over infringement. Specifically, UMG appears to be in a snit after discovering the shocking fact that kids are posting videos on Myspace! Videos of UMG artists no less. Shock, horror, anguish, and complete surprise, I know.

Yes, it would be a horrible, horrible shame for Joe Emo to promote his favorite band. What if some other kid were to see that video and decide to buy the album? Dammit people! Quit buying music! Don't you get it? UMG is obviously trying a little reverse psychology. You see, they want you to steal. It's like Abbie Hoffman in the 21st century.

Yes, by telling the kids "you suck because you steal, so don't steal" UMG big-brains know that kids, being rebellious kids, will do the exact opposite. They'll steal more! Brilliant! Next, they try to crack down on the horrible, nasty free promotions their artists are getting on Myspace (bastards!). So what's going to happen? Those sneaky brats will simply post MORE ill-gotten vids, thus increasing the rate of stealing.

If none of this makes sense, I've done my job.

Zune hacked!

Ha! Bet that got your attention! Unless 'DVD Jon' bought one at Best Buy this week, don't count on it. But it'll happen. I just don't think there's a way to stop it. The question is, what will MS do when it happens?

Let's face it, they may like it. They may want it to happen, if ever-so-secretly. It's beyond dumb that you can't buy stuff wirelessly. That would indeed have been an iPod-killing feature. Now the chances are whatever iPod that becomes wireless will allow you to buy via airwaves. Also, if and when Apple puts wireless into an iPod, they will undoubtedly integrate Bonjour, which means your playlists or libraries will automagically be shared with folks in proximity. That's a lot cooler than "sharing" a song or two for a couple of days. Oh, I mean THREE whole days. The Count would be proud.

I'd say early in 2007 we'll start seeing the Zune hacks in great abundance.

One question though-- can you play your Xbox 360-downloaded movies on your Zune?

Maxx Steele

Somone please bring back Maxx Steele! I had Verbot, which was like the little cousin of functional robots in the 80's. The dream was that massive Tomy robot, the one who would bring you a beer (I know Omnibot could do that too, but only 2 beers at a time).

Maxx Steele though, was different. Where the Tomy robots were locked-down like an iPod, Maxx Steele had potential. Expansion potential. He actually had a port in his chest that would accomodate expansion modules. Boy, wish someone had exploited that. Maxx was born in a time when plastics weren't as robust as they are now, and manufacturing was a little more primitive. But Maxx was big for a toy, and had a real flashlight, speech, and a big-ass arm that you totally thought might be able to open doors.

Now, Robosapien is great. But he doesn't really do anything practical, does he? I still miss the robot from Rocky IV. Maxx was sort of a bastard cousin to that robot-- but the point was making these things look like robots, and make them DO stuff. Besides, given Maxx's primitive circuits, wouldn't it be easy to bend? Yet I have never been able to find a functioning unit on ebay. *sniff*

Read teh Flippin' Monkey

teh internets-rtfm
Originally uploaded by goopymart.

Credit to Goopymart, great pics. I really wish people would read things before they opened their yap. We all know them. The trolls on Slashdot who should have RTFM or RTFA tattooed on their sweaty, pus-ridden foreheads. This is for them. Thanks for the comments, dorks.

The Good Guys Won

Nice story on MIT's Gershenfeld on CNN Money. He's talking about how, in the not-so-distant future, you'll be able to make almost anything at home. Devices will be able to cut, fold, spindle, and mutilate raw materials to create what you design.

Of course, some of us saw this way back in the 80's, when we were in middle school, and we stumbled upon this strange hardback book (for older kids) by OMNI magazine. It was on the future... The ultimate dream, of course, is to transmute things. Take a lump of carbon, move the atoms around, and create a salad or something. But using lasers, plastic, and CAD tools is a little more realistic-- for now.

Personally, I really cannot wait. We plan to build our dream house next year, and I am already be inventing things for it. One things I'm really jazzed about is the opportunity to put a proper shop in there. Wood, metal, even plastic will find new life. So yeah, I'm excited about the DIY future. EZ-Bake HDTV? I'll take that, thanks!

Read the story about FabLabs, and I think you'll be inspired too. Now I want one in my town!

The only onion in the ointment? How long before it's almost impossible to DIY? I mean, will enough people really pursue this to make it viable? This is always a conundrum. It fascinates me how some people really just want to mindlessly consume. Never really aim to create something new in any way... Those folks won't be interested in this at all, will they? Look at how Heathkit fell, how so much of the DIY ethic I saw in the 70's fell away to shiny new goods in the 80's and 90's. I don't know that we'll ever return to those days, unless the economy tanks. In that case, I'll be glad for my Victory Garden.

I want to fix everything

Perhaps this is why I "get" Jack's character on Lost. I get his obsessive-compulsive nature, his "issues," and whatnot. I'm right there with him: I have an incessant desire to "fix" things.

This serves one well in technology, but is frustrating on a granular level.

Today has been particularly frustrating. iPods acting up, Macs acting up, PC's acting up, kids... well, they're being little angels, bless 'em.

So my question is, where's all the self-healing tech we were promised? Never mind the flying cars, I can't imagine the carnage.

Now where's my vinyl copy of Weird Al's "One of those Days"...?

Fixes to follow :)

Note: And as I tried to publish this from my handy Blogger widget, it too failed. As Burt Mulligan (from Soap) would say, "I'm outta here!"