Comedy jitters!

I've got my first open mic coming up on Sunday, September 5 at Relix Variety theater. I'm not 100% on the final set. I don't have reams of comic material in notebooks. Why in the hell I didn't spend my years writing this shit I'll never know. Possibly because I've been told all my life I'm never going to make it as a performer?

Tonight I had a great 3-hour call with my best friend and comedy buddy, Ert. I had a sort of breakthrough when I realized the schools I was "allowed" to apply to in HS were all *engineering* schools, despite my suckage in math. I'm not great at math, although now I'm no longer intimidated by it. Words are my bread, and the cracked lens through which I see life is my butter. If only I'd had the strength to stand up to my parents and go to a proper school or enroll in a proper career for myself.

Then I got to thinking how many HS seniors are pressed into service, much as sailors were once "impressed" into the Royal Navy. It almost makes me want to be a guidance counselor. Almost. Then I realize I'd encourage some smartass kid to follow his dreams to Los Angeles, he'd wind up in gay porn and I'd go to jail.

Here's hoping jokes about farts and online dating can ease the pain.