one man's journey into creating gibblybits

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Depression

It's going to be a long night. I've sat on my futon for a few hours and let the world slip by as I dove into social media, getting more misanthropic by the moment. What's interesting about when I have these down days:
- My "wit" -- particularly the acerbic side of it -- goes up exponentially
- My "fuck or fight" switch goes to FIGHT the entire time and I get combative
- They are often preceded by several great days where I feel wildly open and aware...

Dunno what any of that means. And I think I'm safe from hurting myself. I was never one to try suicide, although I've had those thoughts. Now I just think of my kids and how I can't leave them behind -- it would alter them in terrible ways and the world needs them.

Besides, why kill myself? The misanthrope in me wants to kill the world, Alderaan-style. At least then I wouldn't have to check Twitter incessantly for validation.

No comments:

About Me

My photo
This blog is the blowhole of me, and should not represent the blowhole of any other whale, living, dead or publicly traded on the stock market. Enjoy!